After such a great PPV last month, this one doesn’t look so hot. They’ve cooled off Brock Lesnar considerably and now, Johnny Ace is in the main event and John Cena is right back in the ring. The product is so cold, but as shown by Rock and Lesnar, can have hot moments. But they spend so much time trying to cool off those hot moments. It’s pretty laughable.
1. Jobber Battle Royal for a shot at the IC or US title
Okay, not all of these guys were jobbers. The returning Christian, Miz, and William Regal were in the match. I saw Tyson Kidd in there. The final three came down to Christian, Miz, and David Otunga. After eliminating Otunga, it came down to Christian and Miz and the ending was pretty predictable. Miz thought he won, but he didn’t, and Christian eliminated him.
Christian chose Santino.
2. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth
How do Ziggler and Swagger not have an official team name?
It was a very old school and traditional tag match psychology with tremendous athleticism. All four guys did a great job. Swagger and Ziggler had the heat on Truth forever. Hot tag to Kofi and all the high spots followed. Ziggler hit the Zig Zag and Truth broke it up. Truth did a dive over the top rope and Miz didn’t catch him. Just kidding. Ziggler ran towards Kofi and ate a Trouble In Paradise.
Winner: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth
3. Beth Phoenix vs. Layla
I’m going to do this WrestleMania live write-up a little differently. I’m going to do it diary-style, rather than as a true match-by-match post. It’s only the biggest show probably in years, so why not?
4:00: It’s not once in a lifetime if they do it again next year is it?
4:01: Lilian is looking mighty fine singing “America The Beautiful”. I think she still wants the People’s Strudle.
4:07: After a long opening package showing John Cena and Rock as children, it’s World Heavyweight Championship time.
Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
4:09: AJ gives a little kiss to the champ.
4:10: It must’ve been the kiss of death. After the kiss, Sheamus kicked Bryan to win the match. After building this match for weeks and weeks and Bryan doing tremendous work, they jobbed him. Not what I want to see when I pay $65 for a show.
4:14: Yes! Nooooooooooo!
4:16: At least it’s time for Kane. Wait, that nearly makes it worse.
Kane vs. Randy Orton
4:20: It took longer for Randy Orton to put baby oil on his nipples than it did for Bryan to lose to Sheamus.
4:26: After losing to John Cena and Big Show recently, Kane is all of a sudden hard to knock off his feet again.
4:28: Kane nearly had his WrestleMania moment, but Orton kicked out of his chokeslam. He was brokenhearted.
4:30: Well, Kane just got his WrestleMania moment pinning Randy Orton with a chokeslam from the top rope. Wow.
4:33: Let’s count the old-timers who we only get to see once a year. So far, Ron Simmons and Mick Foley in a “Damn!” skit.
4:34: It’s Dashing Cody Rhodes time!
Cody Rhodes vs. The Big Show
4:36: I think Cody is smuggling bananas in his trunks. Even Shawn Michaels is appalled.
4:43: After Rhodes hit the Beautiful Disaster kick, he went for it again and Big Show speared him right in the balls to set up the punch of death for the win.
Winner: The Big Show
4:44: To sell how important it was for him to win, we see tears of Big Show.
4:47: Now that I think of it, those were tears of joy for not being Daniel Bryan’d.
4:50: Maria Menunos is wearing very nice pants. That’s all I can say.
Beth Phoenix and Eve vs. Kelly Kelly and Maria Menunos
Shawn Michaels may have once lost his smile, but holy heck, his smile saved a long and lifeless segment tonight.
Let’s take a look at every scheduled match and talk about the build.
- Since it was the main event segment, let’s talk about it first. I was pretty disappointed in the Triple H vs. Undertaker segment. What I’ve liked about Triple H’s character in the last two months all went down the drain tonight. He was back to being the grovel-ly, wannabe bad ass, and I’m just through with that character. I liked the grown up character who is in a suit and knows his days are close to being done, but for one night, he can strap up his boots again and go with the best of them. I also think they’ve taken steam off the Undertaker a bit. Duan and I were talking a month ago that Taker is one of the only guys left with that superstar aura. I haven’t felt it the last two times we’ve seen him. Is it because HBK seems more special? Maybe. Might also be because he looks like a goof with the hood on.
What saved this segment for me, and really I think made it work overall in the end was Shawn Michaels’ smile. When Taker told HHH that Shawn was better than him, Shawn smirked and sold the smirk until HHH looked at him dismayed. That was money.
- The Rock and John Cena stuff was toned down tonight and it seems as if they’ve halted all the insults. Rock’s promo was more about it being a huge match and getting the respect from all the great performers of the past. Very little of it was about demeaning Cena. And then he posted this on his Twitter last night:
I’m not sure if there was a directive or not to stop burying each other, but it sure seemed like it. And it’s probably for the better. What I also wonder is if they’re foreshadowing the finish where if Rock has to lose, he loses to an opponent he respects, rather than one he constantly makes fun of. Cena didn’t get a chance to talk, but he was able to show that crazy strength by putting Mark Henry on his shoulders. That gets him over every time.
After tonight’s PPV, we should know where things are going for WrestleMania. Santino Marella was put in the Smackdown chamber match after Randy Orton was declared out because of a concussion. But was a tweet earlier today from Christian that alerted us that he may be in Milwaukee for a show. Might Santino be out of the chamber before he was even in?
Looks like we’re opening up with the Raw chamber match, which may lead to a title change in the Smackdown chamber match, or it may not. But it’s a little surprising that the Raw chamber match opens up the show.
1. Raw Elimination Chamber (Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk)
Order of entrance: Punk, Kofi, Dolph, R-Truth, The Miz, and Jericho.
Order of exit: R-Truth, Dolph, Kofi, Jericho, Miz
Chris Jericho gets to be the last guy in the cage after winning the match on Raw. CM Punk and Kofi Kingston open up the match. Truth was the first guy to go out after eating a flying elbow drop from Punk. Kofi is the star of the match with all of his athleticism. Jericho finally came in and he and Punk had a minute or so with each other and then Jericho gave Dolph the Codebreaker. Down to four.
Kofi with the high cross from the top of the pod and onto Miz and Punk. Kofi tapped out to the Walls of Jericho. When they were pulling Kofi out of the chamber, Punk kicked Jericho out of the chamber and he took a big fall. Jericho is still out. Miz hit the Skull-crushing Finale for a close two-count on Punk. Punk hit the GTS to beat Miz to keep his belt. Jericho was counted out?
Winner: CM Punk
2. Tamina vs. Beth Phoenix
Crowd doesn’t care at all about this match. They weren’t all that loud for the Raw chamber either. Tamina hit the Superfly splash, but Beth kicked out. There goes Tamina’s gimmick. Beth then finished her with a Glam Slam. Match was fine, neither good or bad.
Winner: Beth Phoenix
Laurinitis came to the ring and campaigned for the Smackdown GM job. He wants to be GM of both brands. Alberto Del Rio returned and backed him. So did Mark Henry. And finally, so did Christian. I can’t believe we paid for that. Otunga took a photo of all of them together in the ring and tweeted it out.
WWE’s year end PPV wasn’t put together very well. John Cena, the top draw isn’t even on the show. Yet, Triple H and Kevin Nash are having a ladder match, in their first match of the feud. This PPV feels like the writers just threw s*it (and I’m not talking about Rosey) against the wall and went with what stuck. That being said, I’m looking forward to Dolph Ziggler against Zack Ryder and Cody Rhodes vs. Booker T. Those matches have been booked fairly well. I don’t really care too much about any of the main events, but the triple threat TLC match should be good nonetheless.
1. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder
Ziggler was fantastic in this match, just such a great animated heel. The match picked up near the end with some really great near falls. Vickie was throw out of the match for putting Dolph’s foot on the rope to save him. Ziggler hit the Fame Asser for a near fall. Ryder hit a Frankensteiner from the top rope for a near fall. Ziggler ran into the corner for a splash and was hit with knees to the face and then the leg lariat for the pin. Fun match. Zack is the new US champ.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
Cody attacked Booker in the back and Booker’s eyes went wide and he was puffing out his cheeks. He’s been taking his vitamins as he looks good.
2. Air Boom vs. Primo and Epico
Evan Bourne’s not getting the slap on the wrist quite yet. Fun tag team match, and very much by the books, except with all of Bourne’s high flying. Kofi hit Primo with the Trouble In Paradise for the pinfall.
Winner: Air Boom
3. Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton