2012 Royal Rumble Play By Play – 30 Man Royal Rumble

It’s my favorite PPV of the year and it generally delivers. We’ve done tremendous coverage on the show on the site so far with our preview articles and all that’s left is the wrestling.

1. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. The Big Show

The story of this match is that Daniel Bryan is a pinball and he’s bouncing around for Big Show and Mark Henry. Mark Henry couldn’t really do anything. He was not the world’s strongest man tonight. He could barely get his foot off the ground.

Bryan went to the top of the cage to try and leave, but the every so swift Big Show kept catching him. Big Show trapped Daniel Bryan’s arm and then also had him by his head so it looked like Bryan was hanging from the top of the cage, which was pretty cool. Show had a grip on him and Bryan was hanging from Show’s wrists, and finally let go and won the match.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Bryan did the “Yes” screams after the match. (Photo sent in by my friend Jenn who is there live.)

2. The Bellas, Natalya, and Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox, Eve, Kelly Kelly, and Tamina

Beth Phoenix tagged herself in by slapping one of the bellas pretty hard, immediately gave Kelly Kelly the Glam Slam for the win. Beth projects her character better than most of the dude wrestlers.

Winner: The Bellas, Natalya, and Beth Phoenix

3. John Cena vs. Kane

Your biggest star is used as the backdrop dor a terrible angle where Kane just keeps beating up Zack Ryder. The match was actually okay. Cena did a pretty sweet “You Can’t See Me” fist drop from the top rope.

They were both counted out and they brawled to the back. Earlier in the show, Zack Ryder was wheeled into the arena and Johnny Ace gave him a room to relax in. As they were brawling in the back, Kane found where Zack was, beat him up, brought him back to the ring and beat him up some more. For whatever reason, Cena was no where to be found. Eve was pleading with Kane, but to no avail. It was tombstone time. He was put on a stretcher and taken to the back.

Winner: No one (double count out)

And right after that brutal bullying, they ran an anti-bullying ad. Hmmm.

4. Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

And here we all thought that Drew was fired. He might as well be. Brodus with the squash.

Winner: Brodus Clay

5. Dolph Ziggler vs. CM Punk

It’s too bad that the Johnny Ace/CM Punk feud was given more importance than this match because it could’ve been so much better. It was still good. Lots of back and forth, but it was mostly hurt by the constant interfering by Ace. Punk had the match won a couple of times, but there was a ref bump and Ace was the ringside enforcer and wouldn’t count the pin. Punk had him up for a GTS and clipped Ace who was upset and wouldn’t count the pin again. Dolph hit the Fame Asser for a near fall. Punk hit the GTS again and Ace came in to help the referee count the pin. Odd finish.

Winner: CM Punk

6. Royal Rumble

Miz eliminated Riley fairly easily and now has to face Truth. Miz eventually eliminated Truth. Mick and Ricardo eliminated Gabriel. It looks like Mick is going to pair up with anyone and everyone. Santino gave Ricardo a wedgie before throwing him out. Foley and Santino did a socko vs. cobra stand-off. Epico was quickly socko’d out.

Cody tossed out Foley from behind. Lawler came out, hit the fist drop and was thrown out by Cody. Cody and Miz are cleaning up. The Great Khali comes back and immediately eliminates Khali and Big Zeke. No wonder Jinder hates him. Booker came in and only had a shirt and tie on. He must’ve been pantsless. Miz tossed out Kofi, but Kofi did a handstand so his feet didn’t hit the floor and he walked on his hands to the steps so he’s still in the match. Awesome. Duggan wasn’t long for this match. Cody and Miz are still running things.

Kharma, Booker, and Lawler eliminated Cole. Kharma press slammed Hunico out. After Kharma did her move on Ziggler, he threw her out. Sheamus tossed out Kofi. Barrett tossed out Road Dog. It was fun while it lasted. Orton tossed out Barrett like he was Jey Uso. He also threw out Jey Uso. Jericho didn’t run around the ring and slap fives with fans. He immediately eliminated David Otunga. Show eliminated Miz, Rhodes, and Ziggler.

Show, Jericho, Sheamus, and Orton are the final four. Orton eliminated Show and Jericho eliminated Orton. It’s Jericho and Sheamus. Holy crap. Sheamus won.

Winner: Sheamus

Entry order
1. The Miz
2. Alex Riley
3. R-Truth
4. Cody Rhodes
5. Justin Gabriel
6. Primo
7. Mick Foley
8. Ricardo
9. Santino
10. Epico
11. Kofi Kingston
12. Jerry Lawler
13. Big Zeke
14. Jinder Mahal
15. The Great Khali
16. Hunico
17. Booker T
18. Dolph Ziggler
19. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
20. Michael Cole
21. Kharma
22. Sheamus
23. Road Dogg
24. Jey Uso
25. Jack Swagger
26. Wade Barrett
27. David Otunga
28. Randy Orton
29. Chris Jericho
30. The Big Show

Elimination order
1. Alex Riley
2. R-Truth
3. Primo
4. Justin Gabriel
5. Ricardo
6. Epico
7. Santino
8. Mick Foley
9. Jerry Lawler
10. Jinder Mahal
11. Big Zeke
12. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
13. Booker T
14. The Great Khali
15. Michael Cole
16. Hunico
17. Kharma
18. Kofi Kingston
19. Road Dog
20. Jey Uso
21. Wade Barrett
22. David Otunga
23. Jack Swagger
24. The Miz
25. Cody Rhodes
26. Dolph Ziggler
27. The Big Show
28. Randy Orton
29. Chris Jericho

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