I blogged all the episodes of TUF Season 8 and if you want to go back to see how we got here, you can do so here.

Junie Browning and David Kaplan will open up the show. If you remember, when Kaplan fought Phillipe Nover, Browning told Nover what his teammate Kaplan could and couldn’t do. Kaplan was also one of the crazier guys in the house (though not nearly as crazy as Browning) who allowed Tom Lawlor to punch him right on the chin to test it.

1. Junie Browning vs. David Kaplan

Mike Goldberg said that you either love or hate Junie Browning. I haven’t heard anyone who loved him.

Browning comes out to Eminem. I didn’t notice how similar they look until now.

Browning’s first kick hit Kaplan right in the genitals. Browning is picking Kaplan apart. Kaplan is doing a good job of blocking Browning’s punches with his face. Browning looks really good. Browning went down from a slip and Kaplan went for his leg, but Browning got out and transitioned into a rear naked choke, but Kaplan got out of it. Kaplan’s face is already bloody. Browning almost got another rear naked choke in there, but Kaplan got out of it again. Great round for Browning.

Browning took Kaplan down and worked to get side control. Once he did, he set Kaplan up for an armbar and sunk it deep immediately.

Winner: Junie Browning by way of 2nd round submission

He apologized for being a dick on the show and to Frank Mir.

2. Eliot Marshall vs. Jules Bruchez

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Thanks to MMA Junkie for the line-up.

The full card includes:

MAIN CARD
Efrain Escudero vs. Phillipe Nover (”TUF” lightweight finals)
Ryan Bader vs. Vinicius Magalhaes (”TUF” light heavyweights finals)
Wilson Gouveia vs. Jason MacDonald
Kevin Burns vs. Anthony Johnson
Junie Browning vs. Dave Kaplan

PRELIMINARY CARD
Shane Primm vs. Krzysztof Soszynski
Jules Bruchez vs. Eliot Marshall
Kyle Kingsbury vs. Tom Lawlor
Shane Nelson vs. George Roop
John Polakowski vs. Rolando Delgado

Junie Browning vs. Dave Kaplan in the fight between stubborn guys who won’t listen to their coaches. I can’t imagine Frank Mir is going to be anywhere near those guys.

They tease that Junie goes on another freak out and Dana has to decide whether to let him fight or kick him out.

The first fight is Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Vinny Magalhaes. Krzysztof says that you punch a black belt in the face, he becomes a brown belt.

Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Vinny Magalhaes

After getting hit in the face, Vinny pulled guard and pulled Soszynski down with him. Then he pulled his foot behind his head and trapped him there while laying in elbows. Soszynski threw about 5 unanswered leg kicks. Vinny was trying to go to the ground at every opportunity and pull guard. Vinny caught him and arm barred him quick for the victory.

Winner: Vinny Magalhaes by way of 1st round submission

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The first fight is Ryan Bader vs. Eliot Marshall.

Big Nog says that he thinks Bader is going to win the season and also be a champion some day.

Eliot admits that Bader is probably the favorite to win the show. Frank Mir says Bader won’t take him down because Eliot is a jiu-jitsu black belt.

Bader says he controls where the fight goes. Eliot says he just gets to control where he gets to lose.

Eliot Marshall vs. Ryan Bader

Eliot is so lanky. But he’s also decently built. About half way through the round, Bader took Marshall down and they just stayed there for the rest of the round. Marshall didn’t try to pull anything off from the bottom. And Bader just threw some punches, but nothing happened.

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Shane Prim says that John Polakowski is legally insane. He’s John “The Hugger”.

George Roop says that even though John is nice, he’s going in there with bad intentions and is going to make him bleed. He hurt his hand sparring. Mir says he hyper extended his finger at the knuckle. He can’t make a fist.

Someone stole the marshmallows from John’s box of Lucky Charms and he’s no longer John “The Hugger”. He’s pissed.

Mir says Roop’s hand is a dead fish. Dana White says John “The Hugger” is goofy, but he can go toe to toe. Mir says it should be an easy win for Roop, but because of that hand, the fight is harder.

Big Nog likes Roop and plays around with him.

John Polakowski vs. George Roop

Roop had the upper hand for more than half the round, but “The Hugger” got on top with about 1:30 left in the round. But Roop was doing just as much from the bottom as John was.

John was throwing the better punches and seemed to have hurt Roop in the second. Then Roop took over and controlled him for the rest of the round and then got his back, but couldn’t get the choke in.

Winner: George Roop by way of unanimous decision

Dana White says bad judging killed the fight because “The Hugger” won the second round.

Junie blew up again because the guys were messing with him and throwing eggs at him while he was at the pool. Not sure why it was even necessary to show it.

They are picking the semi-final matches.

The semi-finals are:

Ryan Bader vs. Eliot Marshall

Philipe Nover vs. George Roop

Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Vinny Magalhaes

Junie Browning vs. Efrain Escudero

Next week, we get two fights and they are the first on the list.

I really need to start watching this show on Wednesdays. It’s actually getting pretty good.

The preview says that a fighter gets knocked out in the house. Uh oh.

They recap the fight from last week and Team Nog chants, “Assassin Phillipe!”

Krzysztof Soszynski is in the last light heavyweight fight and his thumb is jacked.

Tom Lawlor and the just defeated Dave Kaplan are drinking and Kaplan is getting ripped. Kaplan says he’s never been knocked out. Shane says that Kaplan and Lawlor only brought speedos to the house because that’s all they wear. Shane talks exactly like BJ Penn.

Junie is all for the drinking because it takes the attention away from him. A drunken Kaplan begs Lawlor to hit him and he finally does and Kaplan just goes out. Kaplan says he wasn’t knocked out. But he really was. He couldn’t stand up straight. Kaplan says he wasn’t unconscious. He must watch the tape of himself.

Vinnie says Krzysztof has good stand up, but can’t stop takedowns. He faces Kyle Kingsbury in the fight. Team Nog pranks Krzysztof by putting any movable object in the house into his room. Dan Henderson comes in and train with Krzysztof, but it’s a short segment. They don’t really put him over like they put over Silva.

Krzysztof enjoys the prank, but his team doesn’t look like they’re going to help him clean up his room.

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I’ve heard about some disgusting things going on this week. I’m almost afraid to watch.

Team Nog steals Tom Lawlor’s fruit tray. Who knew that the TUF house would become the house of pranks? Lawlor wants to urinate on the fruit tray for the next time Team Nog eats his fruit. Four guys peed on it. I hope Team Nog doesn’t test positive for steroids if they eat the fruit.

Team Mir chooses Dave Kaplan to fight Phillipe Nover. Isn’t Nover the guy who fainted on the first show? Mir says Phillipe must die.

Team Nog immediately grabbed the fruit tray and started eating. When Kaplan told them it wasn’t extra juicy, it was extra urinated, they tried to make themselves gag and throw up. Kyle says the fruit might’ve even tasted better than normal.

Kaplan said he was in Holland for 7 months, working out with Ernesto Hoost.

Phillipe is a sushi lover, but whenever he gets back from training, his sushi is already eaten. Kyle came up with an idea to ejaculate on the sushi for whoever eats it. Guys are disgusting.

Junie is upset that Kaplan doesn’t want to roll that much.

Kyle puts some special sperm sauce on Phillipe’s sushi. And Kaplan ate it. Kaplan says that he’s going to put his fecal matter on anyone who had something to do with his semen sushi.

Kaplan says that Phillipe is better at being Filipino than he is, but he’s a better fighter.

Junie decided to tell Phillipe about Kaplan, which isn’t a good team move.

David Kaplan vs. Phillipe Nover

Nover is three inches taller and has a big time reach advantage.

Nover knocked Kaplan down thirty seconds into the fight with straight right and lefts and Kaplan goes down. Nover got his back and sunk in a rear naked choke for the submission win. Junie was happy.

Winner: Phillipe Nover by way of 1st round submission

Dana says that Nover reminds him of Georges St. Pierre. Kaplan says he let his pride get in the way of his technique. Kaplan says he’s still the better fighter.

Next week, Kaplan goes crazy. And the coaches challenge is a penalty kick soccer match. They need to bring back the ping pong.

They recap the fight between Junie Browning and Roli Delgado. I still can’t believe how terrible Roli was on his feet. It’s like he never threw a punch in his life.

Frank Mir told Junie that it wasn’t good enough. Mir says it was a victory that was almost a loss. Mir says that Junie scares the shit out of him outside the ring.

Krzysztof thinks he fractured his thumb. Mir says that Vinnie has a good ground game, but MMA is a different animal.

Big Nog loves Jules for his heart. He’s worried because he can’t pick the fights since he doesn’t have the control.

Frank Mir’s team has to run with snorkels in their mouth which restricts oxygen. Then he has the guys jump into a trash can of ice water so that it immediately treats the inflammation.

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We are promised a Junie Browning fight, which should be pretty good.

Frank Mir asks Rolando Delgado about his black belt in jiu-jitsu. Most of Team Mir thinks he’s bullshitting.

Junie says he bought his black belt from McDonalds.

Mir says that he had to get his black belt by submitting Tim Sylvia.

Junie tells Rolando that if he gets out of the first round, he’ll tell Dana to give the fight to Rolando. Somewhere, I missed that this fight was definitely taking place.

Frank Mir makes it official. Junie throws a black belt at Delgado and Delgado playfully wraps it around him. Then Junie pushes him, puts the belt down and spits on it. Big Nog is never going to do this show ever again. Big Nog says he does it for attention. Anderson Silva says Junie did it because he was scared of Delgado and then tells him to kick his ass. Can you imagine being on a team with Big Nog and Anderson Silva?

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Anderson Silva is on the show tonight and talk about looking like a man among a bunch of boys.

Dana White says that Keith Kizer, the head of the athletic commission, wasn’t there or else Junie would’ve been kicked off the show for jumping the cage after last week’s fight.

Junie apologized to Frank Mir, and Mir said, “Make it up, sorry doesn’t mean shit.” Junie said he promised that it wouldn’t happen again, but Mir didn’t seem to believe him.

Efrain wants to punch him a little and send him back to earth.

Shane calls Anderson Silva a ninja on his feet.

Krzysztof takes Efrain’s underwear, wraps them, and puts them in the freezer. Then they put itching powder in his bed as well as some of the other guys’ stuff. Efrain found his underwear and then said it was war. But then his butt started itching.

Big Nog chooses Eliot vs. Shane for the second 205 pound match.

Team Big Nog is put sardines around the rooms of the Team Mir guys, even soaking their bed sheets in sardine juice.

Vinny pissed on Efrain’s bed spread. Somewhere, Chris Leben is smiling.

Frank Mir says that Eliot’s weakness is that he can’t fight the way he trains, and when that time comes, he’s going to be a really good fighter.

Big Nog doesn’t like the games the guys are playing in the house because he says that the athlete needs his rest. Big Nog tells Mir to tell his guys to stop the practical jokes, but Mir kind of blew him off. Big Nog says that’s bad for Mir.

Big Nog goes into the house to get the guys to stop with the BS and Team Mir disrespected him. Eliot decided to argue with him.

Eliot Marshall vs. Shane Primm

Less than a minute into the round, Marshall had Primm in a rear naked choke with both hooks in, but couldn’t sink the choke. He stayed on it and worked it until getting the submission midway through the round. Very easy win for Marshall.

Winner: Eliot Marshall by 1st round submission

Eliot tells Krzysztof that it’s going to be the two of them in the finals, and Vinny gets upset and says he can beat both of them in one day.

Next week, Junie fights.