Road To WrestleMania XXX – John Cena

John Cena's WrestleMania

Via WWE.com

John Cena’s WrestleMania career didn’t technically get started until WrestleMania XX, but he hasn’t missed one since. Let’s take a look at Cena’s Mania career. Continue reading

Raw 1000 Time Capsule Review

You only get to the 1,000th episode once right? Well, technically we only get to episode 238 once too, but still. WWE has been pulling out all the stops for this show, including bringing back greats like Shawn Michaels, The Rock, The Undertaker, and Steve Blackman.

We’ll do it time capsule style.

8:00: The show starts with a music video of Raw moments including some great ones (Mike Tyson and Stone Cold) and some not-so-great ones (Goldust stuttering while Triple H laughs his ass off). What these guys deem as entertaining is mind-boggling.

(If I see Shane McMahon’s balls electrocuted, well, okay, I’ll laugh.)

8:01: I just saw 1 1/2 seconds of the Miz girl!

8:02: Bret screwed Bret and Shawn Michaels losing his smile in back to back edits?

8:11: After three minutes of underwear jokes from HBK and HHH as DX, they introduce other members of the team, except the one with the largest member, Chyna. (See, I go DX when I need to.) Billy Gunn is still pretty jacked. The Road Dogg presented the New Age Outlawz as the 5-time tag team champions of the world. Triple H asked us if we are ready. And then he said the line that hasn’t ever made sense, “Let’s get ready to suck it.” Damien Sandow interrupted because you know, he and DX had quite the run in 1998. He was put out to pasture and Billy Gunn said that if we’re not down with that, he’s got two words for us. Poor X-Pac didn’t get to do anything except crotch chop Triple H when H said he was the only one with a full head of hair left. No bronco buster or anything. That’s what he gets for humping Chyna on camera.

8:34: It looks like rather than announce the main event, Jim Ross announces what might be the best match on the show. Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, and Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho, Alberto Del Rio, and Dolph Ziggler. Didn’t Ziggler and Jericho have heat last week?

8:36: Jericho gave us his first, “Come on, baby!” cover in what seems like 10 years. A t-shirted Mysterio didn’t get to do much as it was all Sheamus. Ziggler sucker-punched Jericho and Hunter Hearst Sheamus hit Jericho with the Brogue Kick for the win.

8:43: Charlie Sheen via Skype was worse than the UFC’s satellite interviews.

8:46: Mae Young’s son, the hand, wished AJ best of luck in her marriage to Daniel Bryan. Not sure where his dad Mark Henry was.

8:52: Really, Brodus Clay’s act is really all about seeing Naomi’s junk in the trunk. Clay introduced his tag team partner, Dude Love who is in his corner against Jack Swagger. The Dudettes didn’t come out with the Dude. Swagger jobbed in about 15 seconds.

8:55: My heart just skipped a beat. I see Trish Stratus. She and Triple rekindled this skit from over 10 years ago:

And then X-Pac got creepyish and stalkerish with Trish. Well, he did have sex with Chyna on camera. Might be paying for that one all show long.
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Michael Cole And WrestleMania Debuts

WWE stretches the truth to match their story lines and they can do it because the majority of the fans are new and don’t remember things from the past. Last night, JBL was promoting that the Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler match was going to be in the main event, and thus, Michael Cole was the first wrestler to make his debut in the WrestleMania main event.

I’m almost sure that Michael Cole has wrestled before. But let’s help JBL stretch that a bit. Maybe he meant that Michael Cole was the first wrestler to make his WrestleMania debut in the main event of a WrestleMania show.

Well, you’d have to look no further than the first WrestleMania where four men made their WrestleMania debut in the main event. But let’s not get into specifics. We know what he “meant”. If you want to be JBL clear, wouldn’t this man in this video below have met the criteria before Michael Cole?

Yep, Mr. T.

Road To WrestleMania 27 – Week 6

I haven’t written much about Alberto Del Rio and Edge, because to me, it’s been pretty underwhelming thus far. They do have some time to amp it up a bit, but I’m not exactly sure what else they can do. They’ve had Edge spear Del Rio, Del Rio jump Edge, and they even threw Christian into the mix last weekend. The problem is that they have way too much time to push this thing and aren’t creative enough to make it interesting and different enough from all the other feuds going on at WrestleMania.

If they decided that they want to mix it up a bit, I have an idea. It’s not an idea that they’re more than likely going to go with, and I think the time has passed already in order for it to work, but I wanted to throw it out there. I think the main issue with Edge is that he’s simply typecast incorrectly as a babyface. And you can say that Del Rio is either ready, or very close to ready to become a babyface. I would lean towards a double turn here at Mania. The easiest think would’ve been for Edge to be dismayed with Christian saving him. I’d also throw Christian into the match.

At WrestleMania, I’d have Edge pin Christian to steal Del Rio’s pin to lead them to the double turn. I’d have Edge injure Del Rio after the match to complete the turn and have Del Rio out for the next PPV. Then Edge could beat Christian and face a returning Del Rio. Or you could wait until SummerSlam. But the thing that’s simply missing from the feud is that Edge is so much better as a heel and I think Del Rio could be a really good babyface. Again, I don’t think that’s where they are going, but it would bring so much more intrigue into this feud and match than what’s there now.

As for tonight, I was pretty underwhelmed with John Cena’s supposed final knockout promo. There’s a problem with a 30-year old guy making gay jokes at another 30-year old guy. It feels so five years ago, which is about the time Cena stopped doing rhymes. It makes Cena look supremely homophobic and the funniest thing is that he told Rock he was going to give him a pearl necklace. A man giving another man a pearl necklace is a homosexual act in that of itself, so what is the joke? That he’s gay, or that Rock’s gay?
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Video Vault – Stan “The Lariat” Hansen

Stan Hansen is an interesting fellow. Considered by many to be one of the best overall workers in the history of the business. His runs in Texas, the AWA, a short sting in WCW, and big runs New Japan and All Japan Pro Wrestling have made him legendary.

Known to have influenced such workers as Barry Windham and John “Bradshaw” Layfield (both of which incorporated the “Lariat” into their arsenal of moves), Hansen seems to be a forgotten legend to most casual fans. I can’t blame them too much though; he was before their time.

He knew how to sell, he knew how to put together a main event caliber match, and he knew how to make everything he did look real. His punches looked like they would knock your head off, and at times they did. It was a well-known fact that Hansen was blind. I mean, not Helen Keller blind, but he couldn’t see very well. So when he’d throw out his arm for a looping right hand or a Lariat, he swung it as hard as could and made sure it connected. He would rather have knocked somebody unconscious and protected the business than have missed completely and made it look fake. This subsequently led to Hansen accidentally knocking Vader’s eye out of it’s socket in a match in Japan.
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