Todd says Dennis needs to slow down. Butterbean says Dennis needs to treat him with respect or it’s going to get nasty.

Dennis says he’ll hit hard and they should hit him back hard. Brutus tells the viewing audience that it’s called a receipt if someone hits you hard and you hit them back just as hard.

Bischoff says they’ll learn the arm drag and a basic chop. Too bad Ricky Steamboat and Ric Flair aren’t teaching these. Hogan comes out in his gear to teach them the body slam. Hogan tells the guys that when he slammed Andre at Wrestlemania 3 that Andre was almost 700 pounds. He didn’t say give or take two hundred pounds. It’s so funny as to why he has to lie about that. Isn’t 500 pounds enough?

Rodman slams Danny hard and Butterbean wants him. Butterbean slams him softly. Rodman tries to get Bean and can’t. Neither can Danny. Hogan tells Brutus to do it. He can’t get him quite up. I think it’s up to Hogan. He didn’t try. Darn. I wanted to see it.

They are going to do two matches. There’s a triple threat between Screech, Danny, and Todd while the big man match is between Rodman and Butterbean.

The chop looks like it hurts a lot. They’re playing it up like Dennis doesn’t want to be physical anymore because of the possibility of a receipt. Hogan takes Dennis aside and tells him he loves him and tries to inspire him a bit.

Screech is trying to coach a bit too much and the guys are bothered with him.

Hulk brings a doctor in to check the guys out before the match. Screech is the only one to complain about his injuries and the doctor tells him he has at least one broken rib. And he might have a MCL sprain in his left knee.

The triple threat is up first. Screech and Danny are working together over Todd. But I bet they get pissed at each other and the match ends with one of them pinned. Todd goes flying over the top. Screech double crossed Danny. That was fast. Todd took both of them out and then did a high cross over the top rope and onto both guys. Screech took a foreign object out of his knee pad and put it in his elbow pad. He knocked both guys out with it for the pin.

Butterbean just beat on Rodman for the entire match until Rodman hulked up. Rodman came off the top for the flying clothesline and Butterbean caught him with a sidewalk slam for the pin.

Butterbean was bad, but Danny was too. Rodman is the only believable guy, but if Todd learns how to sell a little bit better, he’d be heads and shoulders above everyone.

Bischoff tells Rodman that he works too stiff. Hogan tells Todd that he needs a bit more control. Bischoff says Butterbean never breaks character and makes him believe, but his covers are weak. Hogan says that Rodman, Butterbean, and Todd are heading to the finals. It’s between Screech and Danny. Hulk says Dustin’s chops and kicks are so bad. He tells Danny that he doesn’t hit people as hard as he looks. Hulk tells Danny Bonaduce to leave.

The next show is the finale. There’s a jabroni battle royal as long as a final match for the title.

Screech says that Dennis and Trishelle got into it over how physical he was with her. Trishelle says she kicked him back as a receipt. The Hulkster must’ve taught her that one.

Brutus dyed his hair blond for the Hulkster. Knobs said that Bonaduce isn’t that hurt.

They had to put on construction gear. Todd and Screech decided to argue with each other and Todd challenged him and Dustin backed down.

Knobs and Beefcake took them to a junkyard. Bischoff is there to welcome them. He says it’s time to jack it up and the way to do that is in a hardcore match. They allowed them to grab weapons and release some aggression on a beat up car. Todd says he was seeing Dustin Diamond’s face when he was hitting the car with the bat. Dustin says he has anger issues.

Bonaduce shows up. Screech asks him what he’s doing there because he’s eliminated. Bonaduce puts 20 bucks down that says he’ll stay on the show. Dustin goes to follow him and talk to the Hulkster. Hulk says when Bonaduce didn’t show up, he kicked him off. Dustin interrupts Hulk and Danny. Danny and Screech argue with each other and Hulk says that they need to settle it in a falls count anywhere match. Yep, that’s how all arguments are settled. Screech teases that it may become violent.

Hulk tells the group that Danny and Screech will work with each other and the rest will be in a hardcore match. Hulk teaches the guys how to take a chair shot in the back, a trash can to the head, and a cookie sheet to the gut. He says there’s no easy way to do it except to do it.

Todd hits Dennis in the head and that one looked like it hurt. Trishelle took the chair shot to the back and it knocked the wind out of her. She left the ring to go to the medic.

Rodman says he hates Trishelle.

Dustin and Danny are working together. Dustin says Danny has a lot of bark and he doesn’t bark a lot, but he does bite.

Trishelle won’t take any of the shots.

Screech hits Danny over the head with a trash can in preparing for the match and Danny goes crazy and takes a swipe at him. This dude needs help.

Hogan says you need to be able to turn it up a notch and brings in Goldberg to show them how to do just that. He says you have to grab down and reach for something extra. Goldberg asks Danny to hit him with the trash can and takes two in a row where Goldberg doesn’t even wince. He finally hits him good with a shot. Goldberg hits him with a power slam to show them how to add something extra. Bonaduce wanted to throw up.

The hardcore match starts and they immediately throw Trishelle out of the ring. Todd and Butterbean double team Rodzilla. Trishelle is so getting cut. And let’s hope they didn’t teach these guys how to blade. Trishelle comes back in to throw chair shots. This might be the worst match of them all.

They bring a ladder in Todd and Trishelle have to run into it in the corner. Todd and Butterbean tie Rodman into the ropes and just hit him with stuff. Todd goes over the top rope the best. Rodman throws Butterbean into the table in the corner and it breaks. He then hits Butterbean on the head with a trash can lid from the second rope for the victory. Thankfully, it’s over.

It’s now Danny Bonaduce vs. Screech in a falls count anywhere match.

Bonaduce’s overselling kills me. You’re not supposed to act like you can barely stand one minute into the match. Danny does a low cross body from the apron to Dustin who was on the floor. I don’t think he jumped. He just ran off.

They went to the locker room and Todd kicked at Screech. Danny went for a pin attempt on a table. And then Screech threw him through the wall. After going through a wall, not sure if the cookie sheet is all that big of a weapon. Screech hit the DDT on the chair for the win.

Hogan says it’s time to pay the Piper.

Bischoff tells Butterbean that he has a great attitude. He says to not sell too much too soon. Hogan tells Todd he went over the top rope like Superman and he loves his attitude. Jimmy Hart tells Rodzilla that he didn’t rush everything and he looked unbelievable. Hogan tells Butterbean, Todd, and Rodman to leave the ring. They are safe. He tells Trishelle that he didn’t know if she was hurt or not on the floor. Screech says that Bonaduce didn’t have respect and that’s why he came into the ring to whip ass. Bonaduce says he came out to do his best. Trishelle says that wants to be there. She says she didn’t give 100% though. Hogan calls her a jabroni.

Trishelle says fear is debilitating and she’s just not as tough as the guys.

I keep spelling Knobs name wrong. I spell it Knobbs. Oh well.

Eric Bischoff calls out Dennis Rodman and for some reason, Rodman says that it’s a man’s sport and calls out Trishelle. I think that was a worked line.

They’re joining the teams together since Team Nasty only has 2 competitors left. They’re doing a battle royal for the main event.

Their first move of the show is to learn how to go over the top and the duck and boost, which is ducking a clothesline and boosting the guy who is running towards you over the top rope. Todd skinned his nuts on the top rope going over. He said it was his “special purpose” that got hurt. Butterbean went over and it wasn’t a nice fall.

Dustin didn’t want to do the duck and boost because his shoulder was hurting. Dennis threw one of the trainers out and he landed on his hand and had to go to the doctor.

Trishelle threw Dustin over and hurt his shoulder again. She thinks he’s faking. Butterbean says he’s a wimp.

Bonaduce finally shows up.

RVD shows up and Knobs calls him one of the greatest finishers in the business.

Hogan says your finisher needs to match your persona and you can work your whole match around the finishing moves. They’re going to learn finishers. They haven’t even taken a body slam yet.

RVD hits the 5 star frog splash on Knobs.

Bonaduce tries to impress RVD and goes over the top and bangs his back on the apron. They take him away in an ambulance.

Rodman’s clothesline off the top worked according to RVD. Butterbean uses a big power slam that RVD shows him how to accentuate. Trishelle is using a submission hold. Todd’s cartwheel into an elbow isn’t a finisher according to RVD. He wants Todd to come off the top with a sunset flip. Dustin is using a DDT for his.

Trishelle doesn’t want to work with Dennis because Dennis hurts people. Todd says it’s a difficult experience with five newbies in the ring at the same time.

They are all now Team Hogan.

It’s Royal Rumble rules. Dustin and Todd are starting out. Dustin tried to throw out Todd and Todd almost skinned the cat. He kind of cheated. Trishelle is in next. Rodzilla, from parts unknown, is in next. Rodman just booted Trishelle in the gut. Butterbean is in next. They all quadruple team Butterbean. They finally throw him out. Todd hits the sunset flip over the top rope on Dustin and pinned him. Trishelle went off the top rope with a double axe handle and pretended as if she hurt her knee. It was clumsy but it worked. She tricked me. She then dumped out both Todd and Rodman to win the match.

Hogan says Trishelle excelled at the physicalities. He said she worked with Rodman especially well. Bischoff says he’s not seeing much new out of Dustin and he’s plateaued. Jimmy says Butterbean needs to be able to take his own bump to the floor and it didn’t look impressive. I think they have to kick Butterbean out. Trishelle has outworked him two shows in a row. Hogan kicked out Danny Bonaduce and called him a jabroni. That was a bit harsh.

Next week, they do some hardcore wrestling. Danny comes back and somehow is able to work. Goldberg shows up as well.

Bischoff meets the remaining 7 in the ring. Bischoff asks Todd who his favorite wrestlers were. Todd says Peter Maivia and the Great Mephisto were his favorite wrestlers. Dustin says the right answer and says Hogan and the Undertaker. Bischoff says all of those wrestlers were able to cut a promo. Can’t say I’ve seen a Great Mephisto promo before.

A different Todd who is actually the ring announcer is going to teach the crew how to cut a promo. He cuts a Hogan promo in front of the seven. It was a B minus Hogan promo. Todd cuts a nice promo on Nikki, but she couldn’t say anything back. Rodzilla choked the chicken on his promo. Rodzilla steals some of Hogan’s lines and the other Todd likes it. Dustin cuts a promo on Bonaduce’s character and Bonaduce gets personal with Dustin and touches him. Dustin slaps him in the face. I don’t think that was fake. But it’s not like Dustin slapped him very hard.

They are learning the hip toss, hitting the turn buckle, and the elbow smash. Dusty Rhodes should teach that one.

Nikki won’t do the hip toss. She’s a bit scared now and walks out of practice.

Trishelle is having issues taking the hip toss. Bonaduce can’t take it either. He takes one on his back and gets hurt.

Brian Knobbs has had it with Nikki. She’s lacking confidence in herself. Screech says if she doesn’t do the work, they may keep her because they don’t know what she can do and send Screech or Dennis away. She says they should try to get Erin back.

The Hulkster has a talk with Nikki and he tells her she deserves to be there.

Bonaduce’s back feels better but his team has already put most of the match together. Todd has even put a cartwheel into the match. Todd is 43 years old. Unbelievable.

Hulk and Dustin work with Erin. He sent Knobbs and Dennis away for some reason. She’s picking it up pretty quickly. It’s the magic of the Hulkster.

Butterbean and Trishelle cut the first promo. Trishelle was awesome.

Todd and Bonaduce went through their promos too quickly.

Todd and Danny are working pretty creatively. Danny kissed her. I think she vomited. Danny even takes top turn buckles with his arm to his side. Trishelle is surprisingly good. Butterbean, for the actual pro wrestling matches he’s actually done, is pretty bad. Trishelle and Danny do the Warrior/Hogan double clothesline spot. Todd hits the cartwheel elbow which Bubba calls the “backwards handspring elbow”. He didn’t actually back flip. Butterbean hits a big splash on Todd for the win. That was fairly entertaining.

Nikki and Dustin are facing Rodzilla in a handicapped match. Dustin’s promo was pretty bad. Nikki had one good line.

Rodzilla had the veins popping out of his neck like Randy Savage, but that was it. He didn’t really say much.

They are having a bad match. Just terrible. Rodman hip tossed both and they got about 2 inches off the ground. Rodman takes a bunch of elbow drops and then Nikki missed a double axe handle from the top rope and instead hit Dustin. Rodzilla went to the top and hit the flying clothesline for the win.

It was quite obvious that Team Beefcake had the better match. Hogan says that no one is safe and everyone has to stay in the ring and could get eliminated.

Bischoff says that Butterbean has a long way to go. But he’s safe. He was the worst guy on his team by far.

Jimmy Hart says that Bonaduce is going to get injured if he’s not careful but he’s safe tonight.

Hogan doesn’t have criticism for my man Todd and says that he’s safe.

Bischoff tells Rodman he’s safe and Jimmy tells Dustin the same. Nikki and Trishelle are the two left in the ring. It should be Nikki and Butterbean.

Hulk says that something’s not clicking with Trishelle and that Nikki sometimes has it and sometimes doesn’t. He finally kicks out Nikki. She’s a jabroni.

RVD is on the next show and it looks like Dustin and Danny get hurt.

I don’t even remember where we left off, but I think Tiffany and the girl from Bewitched are gone.

And Willis is still wearing that hat.

Who taught Danny Bonaduce how to take a bump? I don’t remember bumping being a three step process.

Brutus needs to give Greg “The Hammer” Valentine a job. The Dream Team needs to make a comeback.

Hogan says he listened with his ears and heart when he wrestled.

He gives the remaining eight Jimmy Hart to help develop their character. Maybe he’ll teach them how to sing too.

Jimmy tells the girls that they’ll have to shake it but don’t break it in the ring. He says it’s all about showmanship. He tells them to pick out some gear.

Wait, the girl from Bewitched is still here. Ok, so Sly Stallone’s brother was the one who got kicked out. That’s right.

Jimmy’s disappointed in their choice of gear. Jimmy says Trishelle won’t be able to get a job at Kentucky Fried Chicken with what she chose for her outfit.

Bishoff is pissed off because he thinks the remaining eight aren’t taking it seriously. How does it feel being yelled at by a guy who helped run the largest wrestling company in the world out of business?

They are doing the tie up, working the arm, and running the ropes. Hey, the Beefer ran the ropes pretty well.

Hitting the ropes doesn’t look fun.

Hulk comes in and wants to see Dustin and Rodman work. For some reason, Rodman doesn’t move when Dustin tries to shoot him. He has stage fright. The guy who has had the most training out of them all got stage fright. Hulk got in and worked with Dustin. It was great.

Team Beefcake is working out. Butterbean puts Willis in a headlock and Hulk thought Butterbean was squeezing him too hard. Hulk works with Danny and Danny isn’t comfortable. Danny might be the worst bumper out of them all, and for some reason he runs the ropes with his arms at his side.

Erin is worried that her boobs are going to fall out of her costume. I think she’ll win if that happens. Nikki wants to get booed. Dennis says his goal is not to suck.

Nikki is “The Candy Girl” and she’s wearing what would amount to as bikini bottoms. Dustin is “The Winner”. They are facing Erin who is “The Mistress Of Mayhem” aka MOM. Um, Dennis’ character was already built for him like 10 years ago. He’s Rodzilla. At least he didn’t go with Rod The Bod.

I’m unsure how Nikki could be a heel with those trunks.

Bubba “The Love Sponge” (announcer) says that Dustin is doing a bad job at whipping Rodman into the ropes. And he’s picking on Erin Murphy because she’s not believable. Well, duh. Dustin has spit on Rodman twice now. Who is he, Randy Orton? Finally, Nikki gets in the ring. Erin is taking a beating outside while Rodman is caught up with the ref. Rodman finally gets the hot tag and then tags Murphy in for a high cross body off the top rope and the pin. I don’t remember them learning the high cross from the top.

It’s Team Beefcake time.

Willis is “Mr. Not So Perfect”. Butterbean is “Mean Bean”. They face Trishelle who is the “Red Hot Redneck” and Danny is “Dangerous Danny”. I wonder if Dan Spivey is upset. Butterbean is wearing the largest boxing trunks ever made.

Trishelle and Danny don’t make a bad team. She’s definitely the best of the girls. Butterbean is actually getting some good heat. Well, how can you not when you’re 500 pounds and you beat up a woman. Willis put his hat on Trishelle so that Butterbean could give her the standing booty grind into the abdomen. Willis is a great heel. Arnold should be their manager. Mr. Drummond could do a run in. Trishelle made the hot tag to Dangerous Dan and Willis offered a handshake but that jerk kicked him in the gut. Ok, Willis is my favorite worker. Trishelle pantsed Butterbean to show off some assless chaps and Dangerous Dan hit the high cross off the top for the win. Willis is the MVP. That was actually almost passable.

Team Beefcake is safe. It might be curtains for one of the girls. Bischoff says the timing was a bit off. Hulk says Dustin and Rodzilla are safe. Jimmy says Erin was adorable. He says that she got a little lost. Hulk says Nikki was right on point with her moves but she has to step her game up. I think Nikki’s short trunks saved her. Erin is a jabroni.

Next time it looks like Nikki pisses everyone off.

Photo of Danny Bonaduce shared via Wikicommons

Photo by aliasadsum

Tiffany is no longer with us, and after tonight, another wannabe wrestler will be gone as well.

Frank Stallone said that Dennis Rodman hits hard. That’s quite obvious. Erin says that her team followed the rules and that’s why her team didn’t have anyone eliminated from their team.

Danny decided to pick on Erin and then she asked him about his ex-wife which was a low blow. Danny then digs at her a bit and she starts crying. He said that he’s been making her cry since she was six years old.

Hogan, Bischoff, and Hart come in with a big surprise. That surprise is jumping from the top of a crane to the world’s largest air mattress below. They say it’s 30 feet. Todd and Danny go without hesitation. For some reason, after some trepidation, Trishelle jumps feet first. But at least she jumped. Then Butterbean deflated the air mattress. All of Team Nasty jumped except Frank Stallone. Knobbs said he’s always reminded that Frank is the other Stallone.

Bischoff asks the crew what they learned and Nikki couldn’t come up with an answer.

They are going to learn a headlock takedown, a school boy, and a shoulder tackle. Beefcake’s headlock takedown was terrible. Beefcake called out Bonaduce for not being with the rest of the crew. He does his morning show and then comes back to the training. Trishelle says she’s worried that he won’t know the moves well enough and he could hurt her.

Erin can’t take the headlock takedown and starts crying again.

Butterbean passed wind and Todd said it was like a rat had died and was left there for 2 weeks.

Rodman and Knobbs were goofing off and Rodman came off the second rope with a clothesline. Rodman immediately grabbed his shoulder and Knobbs said that he hurt his ribs, but he might’ve been working. Rodman wasn’t working.

Bonaduce joins the crew and says that because he doesn’t have a problem with pain, it’s easy for him to catch up.

Stallone gets thrown into the match at the last second because Rodman can’t go.

The Team Beefcake features Trishelle and Bonaduce as the heels against Todd and Butterbean.

The heels won as Bonaduce rolled up Butterbean and then Butterbean press slammed Bonaduce outside the ring and onto some guys waiting to catch him.

Team Nasty has Nikki and Frank going up against Screech and Erin. Nikki rammed Screech’s head into the turnbuckle 10 times. Rodman is in corner of Stallone and Nikki.

Screech and Erin Murphy get the duke in a terrible match. Screech tried very hard to make this decent.

Hogan says that Team Beefcake had the better match so no one from that team is getting kicked off.

Bischoff tells Nikki that it’s more about looks. Jimmy Hart tells Screech that he was the team captain. They are both safe.

Hogan tells Frank that he did everything he could to pull the main event off. He tells Erin that she didn’t improve from last week. He tells Rodman that it’s not the NBA and even when you hurt, you work. He calls Frank Stallone a jabroni and tells him he didn’t see the eye of the tiger and kicks him out of the ring. I think it’s mostly because he didn’t jump off the 30 foot scaffold.

Next week, they go gear shopping.

Photo by fsudaft

This is an absolutely disgusting idea for a reality television show. I was told that I love trashy television, and I guess this is the best example of that.

The idea behind this show is for Hulk Hogan and friends to turn some D list celebrities (actually, some of these are worse) into workable pro wrestlers. It’s definitely going to be business exposing.

Here’s a list of the competitors.

- Dennis Rodman
- Trishelle from the Real World
- Dustin Diamond (Screech)
- Danny Bonaduce
- Nikki Ziering (Steve Sanders’ ex-wife)
- Butterbean
- Tiffany (yes, the pop star)
- Erin Murphy (Tabitha on Bewitched)
- Todd Bridges (Whatchu talkin’ ’bout Willis?)
- Frank Stallone (Sly’s bro)

The rest of the cast includes Brutus Beefcake and Brian Knobbs as coaches, Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Jimmy “The Mouth Of The South” Hart. Hogan says wrestling is an art form.

The coaches will teach the wrestlers three moves every week and they will be judged on technical ability and showmanship and they will be judged as a team. Someone will be sent him from the losing team. Hogan showed the championship belt and said it would go to the single winner, and Bonduce says he “coveted” it.

It’s Team Nasty vs. Team Beefcake. Stallone, Murphy, Screech, Rodman and Trishelle are on Team Nasty and Bridges, Butterbean, Bonaduce, Tiffany, and Ziering, are on Team Beefcake.

The three moves they get to use are a kick to the midsection, a forearm smash, and a clothesline. Didn’t Tiffany just pose in Playboy recently? Wow, the road has owned her.

Knobbs doesn’t enjoy the laughing that Murphy and Ziering are doing. And he’s already blown up. Todd Bridges threw a sweet kick, but it was sweet because he actually kicked the guy hard right in the nuts.

Knobbs tries to teach his team to take bumps and Murphy keeps hitting her head on the mat.

Each team splits into two teams and wrestles each other. One team is the heels and the other is the faces.

Screech says that there has to be a general in the ring to lead his team, and that general has to be him.

(Photo by Rob Lee)

Bischoff, Hart, and Hogan are the judges.

Bubba The Love Spongs just compared Danny Bonaduce to Brian Pillman. Please.

It’s Butterbean and Trishelle vs. Danny Bonaduce and Tiffany with Willis as the manager. Butterbean and Trishelle are the good guys.

They might’ve taught these folks how to throw forearm smashes, but no one taught them how to run the ropes.

Trishelle tried to run Tiffany’s head into the top turnbuckle and Tiffany missed. Yes, missed the top turnbuckle. She aimed for that very large turnbuckle and missed it with her head.

Tiffany and Trishelle did the Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan double clothesline spot.

Bonaduce took a Butterbean slam and Butterbean pinned him. Willis didn’t do anything at ringside and tried to jump Butterbean at the end, and threw the single worst flying elbow you’ve ever seen. I don’t think they taught him that one.

It’s Erin Murphy and Dennis Rodman as the good guys vs. Screech and Stallone with Ziering as the manager.

Rodman just kicked the guts out of Screech. But he just threw a terrible clothesline. Murphy throws a forearm and then poses like she’s Scott Steiner. I wonder if Frank Stallone is going to sing, “Take You Back”. I think I like Screech better than Bonaduce as a bad guy. I think Rodman just broke Screech’s entire chest with a clothesline. He the came off the second rope with a clothesline. Hey, two clean finishes in a row. In one week, CCW has been able to do what TNA hasn’t been able to do in five years.

Hogan says that Team Nasty is safe which means someone from Team Beefcake is going to go home.

Bischoff says that Trishelle has a great look and won’t be eliminated. Jimmy Hart says that Bonaduce caught on fire and he won’t be eliminated. It has to be between Willis and Tiffany. Hogan says that the crowd loves Butterbean and he won’t be eliminated. Hogan says the crowd loved Tiffany but her physicality lacked. He said that Willis had no presence until the final run-in and then he stepped his game up. He then calls Tiffany a jabroni and tells her to leave the ring.

Tiffany says she had fun and gave it hell and is ok with leaving.

Next week, it looks like Rodman gets hurt.